Silence Under The Crying Sky
by Damnable
Summary: Jakotsu kisses for the first time Bankotsu. But what he didn't expect was his reaction. Two parts.
1. Part One

He was sitting on the ground, staring at the stars, as he used to do every evening.

The cricket's chirping noise that usually bothered me sounded magical, enchanting. Like a symphony in the air, I was beckoned by it to dance and almost started bouncing. And yes, I know that's lame, but you go try looking at the most perfect creature ever known to man, and stay sane.

He was breathtakingly beautiful and I felt my heart beat like mad. He always had this effect on me, so strong and intense.

He was lying there, so peaceful, so quiet. I wanted to go there and watch him closer, but if I'd go, I might ruin the magic this moment contained.

I was determined not to bother his peaceful state, but at the most unexpected moment, I heard his voice.

"Are you going to stay there for long?" he asked, his voice semi-amused, semi-bored.

I flinched, baffled. How did he hear me? I was quiet- I barely breathed! How did he notice me?

As if hearing my thoughts, he said in his deep, low voice,

"You know I can feel you. whether you're in front of my eyes, or behind my back."

I stopped listening after he said he could feel me. Could he? Did he really feel me? Did he really…

A shiver ran through my spine, as always when I hear his voice. Slowly, I started walking towards him. I was a bit nervous, yet stepped to him and stopped next to his lying figure on the ground.

I looked at him. He was staring at the sky with his eyes closed. What was he seeing underneath his closed eyelids? It was too much to hope he was seeing me.

"Sit," he said, "don't worry, I don't bite." He opened one eye; an amused smile crossed his lips, "too hard."

My heart wavered as I was once more thrown into the blue depths of his eyes. I sat down, looking forward at the horizon silent. I was never capable of thinking straight while being next to him, but now it was even worse, especially after the mischievous smile I got from him.

"Jakotsu…" he started, and I looked at him a bit baffled. He was resting his head on his arms, and in the light of the moon he looked almost legendary.

He looked at me with bright eyes.

And left me breathless.

"Ha-hai?"

his eyes darted over the sky. "What do you think about the stars tonight?" he asked, sounding absent-minded. Was he bored, or maybe fascinated?

"They're very far…"

It made him laugh. What did I say? I wouldn't know, but I didn't even care. All I could think about was his laugh. His wonderful, high-pitched laugh.

His laugh that made me shiver. His laugh that made my heart waver. His laugh that made me the happiest man on earth.

I really love his laugh.

"jakotsu, you're hopeless." He smiled to me. He was smiling to me!

I could seriously feel my heart quickening a beat. I just hope he didn't hear it.

"what?" I asked, a bit worried. "should I have said something else? I really think they're many but then I tried to count them with my hands but I gave up after ten and…" he was laughing again and I quietened. "what?"

he looked back at the sky while saying, "you're tense."

I wonder how he was aware of everything I was going through. Is he a psychic, or just really good with body language?

"I'm not tense," I tried to hide the truth from him, but it seemed that his silent respond meant he didn't believe it.

I didn't know what to say so I just sat in quiet. What could I say? He wouldn't understand anyway.

"Ne… Bankotsu no aniki…"

"Nanda?"

I looked at the stars and tried to stop the quiver in my voice. "When is it going to end?"

"End? What's going to end?" he asked a bit bored.

"When are we going to be two again?"

"We're the seven men, Jakotsu, we're no longer two." He said. His voice showed no emotion, and I couldn't stop the pain in my chest. Didn't he care?

"But…"

he raised his eyes to look at me, "Oi, Jakotsu. Do you not like the other five Shichinintai?"

It took me time to answer, and even that was hard.

"It's not that I don't like them…" I looked at him, "I just like you better."

I lowered my head and attached my lips to his in a gentle kiss. I didn't urged him, nor tried to stick my tongue into his mouth, or anything else. I just tasted his lips for a couple of seconds, and shivered.

Then I detached from him in order to see his reaction.

My heart dropped.

He only blinked, looking at me with such indifference in his eyes. He said nothing. He felt nothing.

And as I stood up and left his side, life spilled out of my body and heart.

I was withering slowly.

Then I died.


	2. Part Two

A/N: well, this is the second and last part of this fic. It really took a lot of time to update but it's kind of funny how I keep on writing things and then forget to publish it. haha. pokes her own head I'm too absentminded so... offers you a flower forgiveness?

I was starting to write this Hikaru no Go fic and i'm being a little too focused on it so I even forgot to update my Gravi fic. To all those who emailed me... thank you so much forbugginglol and for my reviewers... thanks for waiting so patiently.

and about the fic: i'm not really satisfied with how it ended though I do think Bankotsu would have acted this way... well, I hope you'd like it, though, and if you don't, it's okay. neither did I. haha.

* * *

I knew he'd be mad. He will stare at me with his cold blue eyes, with a blaming expression inside them. He'll think I betrayed him.

But I have to do it. For once and for all, I have to pick a stand and stick to it. I have to stand for my own. I have to take charge.

And I did it.

I made a choice that would have affect on my life forever. Mine and others.

I wonder how much it is, seven less one. Um… I've never been really good with numbers.

Yes, I'm leaving. Leaving the Shichinintai. Leaving him. Bankotsu. The one that made me love, the one that broke my heart.

I knew I'd regret it later, but I didn't care. How can a person be so cold and indifferent?

I thought we had a special friendship…

And maybe that was what it was. Bankotsu didn't want to ruin our friendship. But I… I wanted more.

I wanted more than this platonic friendship. I wanted him to care as much as I cared. I wanted him to miss me as I missed him.

I wanted him to love me. As much as I love him.

But that would never happen. So I started thinking small.

I could have lived with it if he had a liking in me as I had with other guys, which is much less than my love to him.

But I guess it was too much to ask.

For years I was satisfied with his mere company. Even before we got our heads cut off and were declared as dangerous to people. Even… even before the other Shichinintai joined us.

When we were alone, on the rim of the river, sitting on the grass and looking at the sky.

I liked looking at him.

I liked listening to him.

I liked talking to him.

I loved every little thing that had anything to do with him, directly or not.

I loved him.

I still love him. But I can't be satisfied with the bit of affection he's showing towards me.

Not after the kiss. Not after that experience. Not after… after I figured out that if we'll continue this friendship I'd probably lose my mind!

So I'm leaving.

Today.

Now.

I'm going to the west, starting to think what I'd do from now on.

After all, I don't have a house to return to.

I don't have a job to return to.

I don't have a family to return to.

My only family was Bankotsu and the others.

And the Déjà vu strikes me.

That's how it happened the last time, when I left my house, my family, everything behind, for a better future.

This future.

I murdered my family. And my family's friends. And their friend's children.

I can't kill the Five Men, I can't. They were family to me, more than the people I shared my blood with.

Sharing a house, sharing clothes, sharing food and victims.

We shared everything. Even secrets.

Although… I never told them about my past. I don't think it matters, anyway. It doesn't exist anymore, and now I live with them. With people that don't judge me, not like my former family.

Or should I say, I used to live with them. Since now I'm leaving.

No more night chats.

No more silence under the starry sky.

No more stories for a goodnight sleep.

No more the two deep, quiet oceans, which were his eyes.

And then, I felt pain.

A fierce urge to see him once more. For the last time.

Immediately.

So I ran.

As fast as I could, I was riding the wind, or at least so I thought, before I slipped on the grass and fell down on my face.

I was on the ground; my cheek was resting on the soft grass. How was I longing now, for a hand to caress my head gently. How was I longing for a hand to attach me to the body of a loved person. How was I longing for a hand to catch me when I fall.

But these wishes were hopeless. I already received my answer. Nothing went well that day. It was better for me to leave, it was a bad idea anyway.

And then, as if hearing my thoughts, the sky opened and rain started pouring. The sand became muddy, and my clothes, my hands and my face got covered with it. Who said it can't get any worse?

I stood up slowly, resting on my forearms, ready to go back and stay as far as I could from the place.

That was when I noticed him.

Or at least his back.

I didn't notice the fact I was so close to the place where we sat the day before. I meant to leave, but I couldn't remove my eyes from him. I couldn't stop staring… but I was familiar with it, from many years ago.

I watched as the muscles on his back stretched his wet shirt with every move he made; I watched as his hair that was caught in a simple braid and was resting on his back swayed with every head tilting. His long, ravened hair I loved so much to play with.

I kept that picture in my mind and my heart and turned, reluctantly, to leave.

And then I heard his quiet, thick voice saying peacefully, "were you planning on leaving?"

"ano…"

"And without saying goodbye?"

I wanted to explain myself, I really did. The problem was, I was lacking an excuse.

"come, sit next to me."

I did as he commanded, sitting by his side, putting my sword on the grass next to me. He looked at me for a minute, and I was drowning into the deep oceans that were his orbs.

Then he closed his eyes and turned his head forward.

I watched silently as the raindrops were wetting his hair, his face, his clothes, and for a moment, only for a thin moment, I hoped I could have replaced them.

I was ignoring the fact I was wet to my bones, though the mud started to disappear from my face and leave my skin clean from any other sticky dirt. Or make up, I noted bitterly.

I really didn't notice that at first, since the only thing I noticed was…

"I-I'm terribly sorry, Bankotsu no Aniki," I hurried, "last night was…"

He quieted my with his voice. "Don't speak. It doesn't matter anymore. Just calm down."

We sat that way for a couple of moments, both silent. His eyes were closed while all I did was watching his breath as it formed a white cloud in the cold air, listening to the cricket's melody that usually bothered me. But this time, they sounded distant, muffled and full of magic.

The rain stopped while I wasn't aware of it, and small drops were shining brightly on colorful flowers that were growing in the middle of the green. Small drops were shining brightly on his dark, thick eyelashes; hiding his blue eyes behind.

We were sitting there, wet, in silence for a long time, and then he spoke.

"Look," he motioned up with his eyes. "A shooting star."

I followed their path and saw a silver glow in the Indigo sky; one sparkling star illuminating it's way down.

"You got to make a wish before it disappears."

I wish I could understand you.

And when it was nowhere to be seen, he looked at me, a smile twitching his lips. "One star less that you'd have to count."

I stared at him with bright, wavering eyes, then looking up and the starry skies, smiling.

…

There are millions of people in the world, but in the end, It all ends with one person.

There are still times that I find it hard to breathe, and I make a wish to disappear…

But when I see this once, special person, I understand why I'm here.

There are many reasons for me to withdraw into myself.

Pain. Sadness. Despair. My past.

But there is one reason why I don't feel that way…

Him.


End file.
